Tag Archive: Zambia

Well now that we leave Southern Africa soon Muni & Molly’s Southern African Oscars are now published.

The categories are : (drum roll please)…

1. Best Hotel : The Gecko Lounge, Malawi
2. Worst Hotel : Pensão Leeta, Mocimboa da Praia, Mozambique

3. Best Meal : La Colombe, Constainia, Cape Town – by far
4. Worst Meal : Hotel Palma, Palma, Mozambique

5. Best Transport : Zambia
6. Worst Transport : Namibia

7. Friendliest People : Malawi
8. Not so Friendly People : Namibia

9. Best Value : Mozambique
10. Worst Value : Malawi

And last but by no means least…

11. Best Beer : 1 Litre Frosted Glass Hansa Draught – Namibia with Maluti a very close second – Lesotho
12. Worst Beer : Laurentina Stout – dire!

And the most coveted award for biggest tosser goes to….

The fat, Afrikaner, make-up put on with a cement mixer, hair-do like a bulldog’s arse, manager of the Cat Nap Guest House in Springbok for her inability to take a booking 3 whole weeks in advance. Moan about the check in time, lie about her presence prior to us checking in and then only say that we had booked one night when two were requested. I hope you catch the clap from a toilet seat and you choke on some worm infested biltong.


South Luangwa

Finally! Back in the bush. And after our “Safari Fiasco” in Kenya it was about time. We arranged a one way cross border trip to South Luangwa National Park from Lilongwe, Malawi. A bunch of us headed off in two 4×4’s. All told the journey was about seven hours and we settled into our safari tent overlooking the Luangwa river in the afternoon. A few of us getting to know each other over a sundowner watching the resident hippos and crocodiles jostle for the last rays of evening warmth.

The next two days started with a chilly early morning rise of 5 a.m. for morning game drive and an evening game drive starting at 4 p.m. The usual suspects were sighted. Elephant, Buffalo, Giraffe, Zebra, Lion, Leopard, Hyaena and a rash of birds. I’m always quite happy to sit in a herd of Elephant but we were not supposed to go off road, so we couldn’t as they didn’t oblige and neither did the guide. Our guide Emmanuel was below average. I kept my reservations about his guiding skills, driving habits and priorities to myself, as I didn’t want to spoil it for the rest of the guys in the car. Speaking of which the people in the car were a really good bunch to be on safari with. A few English girls, a Welch girl, a Finnish chappie, a German (ch-erman!) and of course us two flutes. It was a great mix and we all got along famously! Naturally, I had my safari hat on so I was cracking all the jungle jokes and generally being a safari knob!

GiraffesHippo in a Dress

The other car was full of “the others”. Idle of mind, profused with opinion, childish and just generally not nice. They incurred the wraith of Muni’s full arsenal. They just begged for it anyway. With such outbursts as, “So, are we still in Eye-raq ?” and “Why did we go there in the first place?” – Give me patience!

HyaenaMaribou Storks

So, all round the safari was not a fiasco. Well, maybe 11 cars chasing a female Lion through the bush was thoroughly farcical and calling in a Leopard (on a hunt no less) so that 5 other cars could come and hunt it down was downright laughable, but on the whole, a good ginch.

This time, we thought, it was the people who made it memorable.

Safari Knobs!

Safari Knobs!

Thanks fellas!